Dread
by A Furry Cat
Summary: Set the night after the battle in chapter 18 of Conquest. Corrin was incredibly grateful for the opportunity to eat with her entire family. It gave her a time to ignore the pain in her heart for a few short hours. That night, Corrin took a walk to sort out her thoughts and feelings. She ran into someone who wanted to talk. Spoilers for Birthright and Conquest. Non-romantic


Dread. That was Corrin felt as she watched her Hoshidan siblings leave the ornate room. A servant of the Izumo palace could be seen guiding them to the rooms that they were to be staying at during their stay. She felt a pain deep in her heart as they turned a corner out of sight. She was so lost in her mind that she was startled when her sister Camila tapped her shoulder and said, "Corrin, darling, it's time for us to retire for the night. Xander is working out our sleeping arrangements so we will sleep well tonight."

Corrin turned around and looked at her elder sister who stood near the door. Xander was speaking to one of the servants. Corrin, having been shaken slightly out of her daze, tuned in on the conversation.

"… for this reason we have placed your rooms in this wing. My liege wishes you to have a comfortable stay while you and your family stays here." The servant seemed to have spoken. A louder, more regal sounding voice responded, "Of course, and I promise that we will not cause trouble. If any of my men try anything again, they will face swift punishment."

Archduke Izana was nodding to the prince in agreement with the servant. It was clear that he had told the servant prior to the dinner what to say. The archduke was finishing up making paper cranes with Elise at the table. Azura observed and helped Elise a bit. Most of the people at the dinner had left and the Hoshidan royal family had recently left for bed.

Leo was sitting next to Azura and reading one of the tomes he had brought.

Corrin's observance of her siblings distracted her from how she felt, but she soon felt it again when she felt Camila gently tap one of her shoulders. She once again heard her sister say that it was time to go, so Corrin nodded and followed her siblings to their rooms. While on the way, Azura whispered, "Hey, are you alright? You have been acting strange since the dinner."

Corrin looked down for a second. This feeling she had felt like it would consume her. She tried her very best to smile and reply, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired. That was quite a meal." She trailed off at the end.

Azura didn't look convinced, but she nodded anyway and whispered, "We may discuss this later if you would like."

Corrin nodded in acknowledgment, but didn't give a direct answer. Her feelings of emptiness and dread continued to dwell inside her. Before she knew it she was in a bedroom. It was very showy, very much like the Archduke himself. It was a standard bedroom despite its décor. It had a canopy bed with a dresser, a vanity with a mirror and chair, a closet, and a large window on one side with curtains. While Corrin felt some small shred of happiness at being able to sleep in a comfortable bed, it didn't do much to ease the pain in her heart. She had been feeling this pain for a long time, perhaps since she found out about her Hoshidan heritage, but it has become more pronounced after she made her choice. She has been able to bear and hide the pain for a long time except for when she has had to encounter her Hoshidan siblings. Those days she would end up like she is now: guilty, dreadful, and sad.

Unable to fall asleep, Corrin found herself sitting on a cushion beside one of the windows. The area outside below the window was a large garden that encompassed that area behind the palace. The full moon lit up the area surrounding the princess. She found herself just staring outside not necessarily at anything. She knows that tomorrow she will be back at war. The Hoshidans know that they are coming so her army must make a move quickly; however, both crown princes decided that it would be best to spend the night at the palace to get some rest before moving on.

Corrin found herself thinking. She knows that this little stop was just a short break in the war. She will always remember this day and she is grateful that she could pretend for one evening that she lived in one big happy family. However, this wasn't the reality and Corrin has a bad feeling that the war will become much worse after her army departs tomorrow. It was a sinking feeling. It felt like every step was bringing her closer to the horrific end, whatever that end may be.

Knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep anytime soon, Corrin got up from her spot near the window and crept out of her room. She had removed her armor and wore more casual type clothing. She sneaked down the hall and found herself in the gardens.

Corrin found herself walking around aimlessly in the gardens. She had no real destination in mind. She simply gazed at the plants while deep inside her own mind. It was a strange feeling. It was like she was physically there but mentally elsewhere. As she passed by a more hidden section of the garden she heard a someone gasp her Hoshidan name, "Kamui?"

Corrin felt her heart stop for a moment when she turned around and saw the lion mane hair which identified him as her older Hoshidan brother, Ryoma. His armor was gone as well and he appeared to be wearing casual, yet still regal Hoshidan style clothing. He wasn't carrying the Raijinto, likely as a request from the archduke. Regardless, Corrin had seen Ryoma fight before and she knew he didn't need his divine blade to win a fight.

"Kamui." The prince spoke again.

She replied to him quickly and nervously, "P… Prince Ryoma. What a surprise. I didn't expect to see you here at this time of night." The tension in the air was thick. She avoided looking at her brother and simply opted to look at the wall of flowers behind him. His gaze felt like it was tearing deep into her and making the pain in her heart worse.

Ryoma looked straight at Corrin and replied, "I didn't expect to see you either. What are you doing out here when it is this late? Those supposed siblings of yours might get worried sick if they find that you are gone." The disdain in his voice was apparent.

Corrin again avoided at him directly and responded, "I… I just need some time alone to think. What about you?"

Ryoma glanced up at the dark night sky for a moment and sighed. He put his hand on his forehead and shook his head when he responded, "I seem to have the same reason." He then looked at Corrin again and asked, "Hey, Kamui, I still want to speak with you. Do you mind if we sit down and talk?"

Corrin's heart stopped for a moment. Xander had been with her before when Ryoma approached her, but there was no escaping this conversation. Part of her felt like he deserved that much. She swallowed a lump in her throat and respond, "S...sure, as long as... we aren't noticed by anyone."

Ryoma sighed before responding "I already sent my retainers to bed, and I assume yours are as well?"

Corrin felt butterflies in her stomach as she nodded. Ryoma motioned for her to sit on this small bench in a secluded part of the garden. They would not be noticed by anybody from the palace.

Corrin sat up straight and held her hands in front of her. She twiddled her thumbs to distract her from her shaking. She tried her best to listen when her brother spoke, "Look, Kamui, I just want to know why you are doing this. Why have you betrayed your homeland? Why are you fighting for someone who has caused so much pain for Hoshido?" She could hear her brother's voice quiver slightly in what Corrin interpreted as frustration.

Corrin opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She nodded in acknowledgment and took some deep breaths.

The princess thought deeply for a minute or two. She thought of the hardships both kingdoms have faced and of how the war started. She took a deep breath before responding, "Because it hasn't been just the Hoshidans who have been affected by this war. The Nohrian people will suffer if the kingdoms can't come to an agreement. I do not agree with the means... but I have to do what is best for my people."

Ryoma sighed in frustration. He clenched his fists and sent Corrin a nasty glare as he replied, "The Nohrians aren't your people! You were kidnapped! How can you justify helping those people destroy your homeland?"

Corrin took a deep breath. The cool night brought a nice breeze through that part of the garden. Corrin's eyes were wide with determination and she replied in a firm tone, "Because the Nohrian people will starve otherwise. When I was in Hoshido again, I was amazed to see so much food. In Nohr, the growing season is so short and the land so poor that there isn't enough food grown to go around. I cannot turn my back on those people."

Ryoma looked puzzled as he thought for a moment. Even Hoshido's poorest almost never went hungry. He had heard that Nohr was a dark place, but how could a region have such poor land? It was hard to imagine. He thought back to when Corrin first arrived in Hoshido. She was physically fit, but she was noticeably thinner. Puzzled, he couldn't help but ask, "Why don't the Nohrian people change their methods of farming then? Surely things could get better if some improvements were made."

Corrin shrugged and replied, "Maybe, but even the best farming techniques can be defeated when nature strikes. Nohr experiences off and on droughts throughout its history. One of the worst droughts happened about fifteen years ago and it killed most of what few crops were grown. That drought lasted around five years and many Nohrians died of starvation. Since then, more droughts have happened and while not as devastating as the one before, it is still very damaging."

Ryoma's eyes grew wide at this additional information. He recalled fifteen years ago when tensions between the two kingdoms started to increase. He remembered hearing his father discuss with Yukimura about Nohr's expansion into the more fertile lands closer to the coast. His father opposed such action; however, King Garon ignored him and through both diplomacy and force, incorporated many of the neighboring kingdoms into Nohr. He never heard about the drought and the famine that occurred. It was two years later when peace talks were arranged in Cheve. Ryoma thought grimly as he remembered what happened during the fateful night of that meeting. It was the night his father was killed and Kamui was kidnapped. It was the events of that evening that sparked years of even higher tensions before the current war. Both siblings were quiet with Corrin doing her own recollecting of her own.

Corrin closed her eyes as she recalled the events of her past. Even now, most of Corrin's early childhood memories are fuzzy at best. A few of her clear memories include playing with her Hoshidan siblings and that night in Cheve. Even her memories after her kidnapping were slightly fuzzy. One of the few things she did remember clearly though was being hungry. She remembered feeling hunger for the first time in her life. She remembered sleeping for hours on end due to starvation. She never forgot that feeling.

Corrin sighed and put her hands on the edges of the bench. She looked up at the dark sky and commented, "If it makes you feel any better, I might have sided with Hoshido if the famine wasn't an issue."

Her brother looked up at Corrin in shock. He asked in confusion, "What about those siblings of yours?"

Corrin's face grew grim again as she responded, "I care deeply about them, but I would not fight alongside them if the famine wasn't an issue. I mean... the choice would've still been a tough one, but I guess I would need a really good reason to go back to the kingdom that kidnapped me."

The prince shook his head and sighed. He still cared deeply for his sister, but he could not agree with the choice she had made. In his pocket, he had the ring he was supposed to give her if she ever returned to Hoshido. That ring was a constant reminder to him of her. It reminded him of how much he and the others have missed her over the years and it also reminded him of the pain Kamui's betrayal caused them all.

"It hurts... all of this. I have this terrible feeling that things are only going to get much worse from here. The King is going to make sure of that," Corrin said in a deflated tone. It was strange for her to be so open, but she had to express what she felt to someone. The only other person she would speak so openly to was Azura, but Corrin sometimes wished she could speak to other people about it as well. The risk involved with expressing how she felt was so large though that she couldn't always trust them for risk of being killed for treason. Corrin felt so hopeless. She felt that sense of dread for the future and it made every step feel like a chore. Every step she took brought her closer to the end, but Corrin feared for what was going to happen at the end. The stress of hiding everything was taking its toll and the princess felt like it would consume her, but she had to keep it hidden no matter how much it destroyed her.

A tear suddenly fell down the princess's face. Corrin felt the cracks in her mask widen.

Ryoma's eyes grew wide in concern as he spoke, "Kamui?"

Before Corrin could stop it, her mask shattered. She ended up on the ground curled in a fetal position. The world felt like it was going to crush her. The pain and guilt she felt began to flow out of her eyes as she kept on sobbing. She started to mutter in between sobs, "I can't... I've hurt... too many... people..."

Ryoma watched his sister break down. On one hand, he was furious about Kamui's decision to side with her kidnappers, but on the other hand he was now forced to admit that her main motivation to side with Nohr was not an evil or misguided one. His duty was to Hoshido and it shouldn't matter to him what happened to other kingdoms. That is what has been ingrained in him all his life. It is what he still believes to an extent. Yet, as he watches his sister sobbing he feels a pang of sympathy for her. He sat down on the ground beside Kamui and put his arms around her in an awkward hug. He understood what it was like to carry a soul crushing burden. For most of his life he was trained as a high prince. He was to stand above all others and rule Hoshido one day. He needed to be strong for everyone, but it was taxing on him. He bit his lip in an attempt hold back a few tears of his own as he saw his young sister break down under the stress.

Corrin continued to cry, feeling months of suppressed emotions being released. It was the fear, the hopelessness, and the guilt that seemed to flow out of her as she sobbed. The tears kept coming no matter how hard she tried to stop them. No matter how hard she tried to put herself back together, the tears just kept coming.

As he held his sister, he mourned what could have been. He mourned their former bond as children. He mourned Hinoka's bond with Kamui. He mourned the future Hoshido could have had if Kamui had decided to side with them. He mourned the bond he, Hinoka, Takumi, and Sakura could have had with Corrin. It made him grow frustrated at the world and the war. He was mad at Nohr for causing all of this.

Eventually, Corrin's tears slowed down and she could feel her brother's arm around her in a hug. It was odd at first, but it brought a sense of security that she rarely felt. The hug also brought flashes of memory from what could have been. Those same flashes of memories normally appearing in Corrin's dreams and nightmares. The memories showed siding with Hoshido, bonding with her blood relatives, the relearning of the culture, no slaughtering in Cheve or Nestra, and defeating King Garon. Those memories made her doubt her decisions. Soon, different memories appeared in the princess's mind and those were not pleasant. Those memories showed Corrin fighting her adopted siblings, being betrayed by one of her retainers, watching that same retainer kill herself, killing her older brother after he killed their younger sister, and worsening conditions in Nohr. Those visions haunted her dreams almost every night.

As Corrin calmed down, she moved her arms to return the hug. The two siblings sat for another minute or two before the princess had completely calmed down. Corrin stood up and brushed the dirt of her pants as her brother did the same. The two siblings faced each other and Corrin was the first to speak.

She looked down at her bare feet for a moment before saying, "Thank you... I'm sorry." She frowned sadly and she looked away.

Ryoma sighed as he responded, "You do not need to be ashamed about that. Everyone needs to cry every once in awhile."

Corrin looked at her brother and said with a sad grin, "Thank you. I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

Ryoma nodded and responded, "It is the same for me. You made your choice, now see it through to the end. I will protect my kingdom from Nohr, no matter what."

"I understand, and I will do whatever it takes to bring this war to an end." Corrin replied, strengthening her resolve. Corrin then yawned. It appeared that sleep may finally come to her.

Ryoma looked at Kamui and then looked at the sky. He said to Kamui, "Goodbye, Kamui. If we next meet on the battlefield, I will not hold back."

Corrin nodded and replied, "Yes, and I will do the same. Good bye, Big Brother." Corrin took a deep breath and walked away, waving a hand as she left the small area. She swallowed a sob as she thought of all that she had lost. She had lost a whole family to this war. She lost a family because of a choice she had made. She hurt that same family greatly and it pained Corrin to think about it.

She passed by Azura on her way back and she smiled weakly at the blue haired princess as if to say that she did not want to talk. Azura nodded and left as Corrin whispered a "Thank you."

After Corrin made it to her bedroom she looked out of the window back down at the garden. The spot she and her brother spoke at was very secluded as she couldn't see from her window. The cloudless sky was very dark and it was still going to be that way for several more hours.

Her feeling of dread had never left, but for a few minutes the pain had lessoned. Her heart was reminded of how much she had lost, but she was also reminded of her resolve. Her resolve to end the war as quickly as possible. Corrin yawned as she felt exhaustion take over.

Corrin went to the bed and slipped under the covers. With her resolve hardened, Corrin could not let that feeling of dread cripple her. With that in mind, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **I don't own Fire Emblem Fates.**

 **Wow, this ended up being longer than expected. Anyway, this was my attempt at what a conversation between Ryoma and Corrin would have been if they had been able to talk sometime in Izumo. I attempted to give Conquest Corrin a better reason for siding with Nohr by expanding on Nohr's poor lands. Instead of Corrin siding with Nohr only because of where she was raised, she also considered the famine she knew about. I tried to make Corrin's choice even more difficult as she could see people in both kingdoms suffering. Anyway, my thoughts and theories are some that I formed after reading many forum posts and watching videos so I give credit where it's due to those people.**

 **I also found out that I am terrible at writing emotional hug scenes. -_- I started writing this a little over two weeks ago while on my last night of vacation. I have some issues at home so I wanted to write a fic about dread. Maxcy Leland, another author on this site, gave me the idea of having the fic set in Izumo. It fit in with a different idea that I've had for a long time so it worked out.**

 **I'm dedicating this fic to Maxcy. Thanks for the support!**


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